Thursday, June 03, 2010

the 100th post

Advised a friend to either dump a girlfriend who was boring him to tears, or else to marry her.

I must be the first Female Mysogynist ever.

But seriously. What's up with women and their obsession with men and the mythical sun shining out of their ass? Why can't we think beyond, live beyond, be beyond?

Even the crudest, most low brow, most crass men, when they meet, will discuss beer & cricket  / football (apart from female anatomy). They will comment about the state of politics and the carrborator of their car. They will talk about their next pay hike. They will talk about SOMETHING apart from the relationship that they are in / wish to be in.

But nine times out of ten, even the most intelligent, most talented, most well read, most independent, most successful, most attractive women, when they get together, will talk about men. And marriage. And the ones who stayed. And the ones who left. And matters of the heart. And the hearth.

Good grief. WHEN are we gonna get over it?

Footnote: I would not have noticed this about our gender, had it not been pointed out to me by a man. My husband. A few years ago. Shamefaced confession.

But since then, I have kept relentless pursuit of this observation. And noticed phone coversations, sms chats, facebook updates, blog entries and tweets from some of the women I like / admire most.

And I am saddened to see the truth behind the observation.

This is my 100th post on a blog called stingle. Which fiercely protects a space called 'still single'. And my insight on this pathetic state of us women is not a judgemental one from the outside, but an empathetic one from the inside. I've been there too. I've obsessed like that too. I too have focused all my energies on acquiring the right labels in my life. And perhaps I come from the vantage point of having acquired those labels, but nonetheless, whatever be the reason, wisdom is not to be scoffed at.

In my 100th post, for the 100th time, I wish to know: when we women talk about settling down, why don't we ever talk about 'settling down, single'....?  Come to be at peace with the status of singlehood?

Don't get me wrong. Love is beautiful. A relationship is cosy. I don't advocate singlehood for the heck of it. I am married. I am happy. [Of course the joke between the two of us often is that we are happy inspite of being married, and not because of it] but what I do have an issue with is how we women don't ever get comfortable with the status - whatever the status - and look beyond. We are unhappy single. We are anxious married. When we don't have a man we are worrying about where to find him. When we do have a man we are biting our nails off worrying how to hold on to him. When we part with a man we fall apart. When we find him we cling.

Kya problem kya hai??