Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Hey, Its Love!

This falling in love business is an extremely tricky one.

For starters, it has no sense of time or timing. It comes upon you when you are most unprepared, and it stays away when every fibre in your being is prepared and anticipating.

Secondly, it comes with its ancilliary complicated emotions. Emotions that are bloody tough to handle and which come as these unwanted latch ons with the primary feeling. You'd like to shake these unwelcome additions off, but you never seem able to. Feelings like anxiety, worry, tension, insecurity, fear.

Yes. I am in love. All over again. After 5 years of an intense relationship and 2 years of marriage, I need to tell R. That its official. That I am in love.

And boy. Am I glad I wrote my post Nappy Rash when I did. Because if I hadn't, I'd have clean forgotten exactly how tough this road to amore had been. How fraught with misgiving and fear, how seeped in inadequacy and self doubt...

Yes, its official. I am in love with our daughter. I can't imagine when I said 'I can't cope, its too crazy, I am overwhelmed...."

Because now, no mile is too long, no night too exhausting, no effort too much.

I am in love. I adore her. I dote on her. I could do 48 hour days for her. And still smile.

Pyaar hai hi aisi kutti cheez, kya karein.

So R.... eat your heart out. You have competition. Serious competition! :-)

(except, he seems to be falling in love with the same person, with the same intensity... so.... um.... boy... competition was never this tough....)